It’s easy to be grateful when we get what we want . . . because we get what we want. Then we get more of what we want because we are grateful. It is a continuous cycle, feeding off self-generated momentum, forever expanding into Infinity. But the same energy, directed away from gratitude creates a self-fulfilling prophesy of doom.
Science is beginning to study the effects of gratitude. Robery a Emmons, University of California is conducting an experiment called Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude. He says "Gratitude is the “forgotten factor” in happiness research. We are engaged in a long-term research project designed to create and disseminate a large body of novel scientific data on the nature of gratitude, its causes, and its potential consequences for human health and well-being. Scientists are latecomers to the concept of gratitude. Religions and philosophies have long embraced gratitude as an indispensable manifestation of virtue, and an integral component of health, wholeness, and well-being. Through conducting highly focused, cutting-edge studies on the nature of gratitude, its causes, and its consequences, we hope to shed important scientific light on this important concept."
Even business is getting on the gratitude train. Charles D. Kerns, PhD says "Gratitude is not just a "feel good" emotion when it comes to organizational life. It can benefit an organization in many ways. When an employee believes his or her superiors are grateful for his or her work, the employee will benefit by having an improved sense of worth to the organization. This improved sense of worth can lead to performance improvement, thereby benefiting the organization. Further, the person expressing gratitude benefits from that expression, which also may positively impact the organization. For instance, research has shown that persons who are genuinely grateful may be more optimistic, experience improved health, and perhaps even have extended life spans. All of these benefits also potentially benefit the organization for which that person works."
There is a lot of work done on applying gratitude in life. Here's a Zen perspective:
How to Live a Life of Gratitude
The thing is, simple acts of gratitude don’t cost you much (especially once you get over the initial discomfort some people feel with thanking others). But they can make a huge difference.
If you’re interested in living a life of gratitude, here are my suggestions:
Morning gratitude session. Take 2-3 minutes each morning to give thanks, to whoever or whatever you’re grateful for. You don’t have to do anything, other than close your eyes and silently give thanks. This one act can make a huge difference.
Say thank you. When someone does something nice for you, however small, try to remember to say thank you. And really mean it.
Call to say thanks. Sometimes you might think about something nice that someone did for you. Perhaps you remember during your gratitude session. When you do, pick up the phone and call the person, just to say thanks. Let them know what they did that you’re grateful for, and why you appreciate it. Takes a minute or two. If it’s too early to call, make a note to call later. Even better is telling them in person, if you happen to see them or if they’re on your route. Almost as good is a thank-you email — keep it short and sweet.
Give thanks for “negative” things in your life. There’s always two ways to look at something. Many times we think of something as negative — it’s stressful, harmful, sad, unfortunate, difficult. But that same thing can be looked at in a more positive way. Giving thanks for those things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. Problems can be seen as opportunities to grow, to be creative. See the prayer below for more on this.
Learn a gratitude prayer. There are many prayers, religious or not, that can remind you to be grateful. Find one you like, and print it out or make it your desktop wallpaper. Here’s a religious one, and here’s a collection from a multitude of religions. You can find many others on the Internet, or write your own. If you’re not religious, make one that doesn’t include the concept of God."
Gratitude is a state of mind in which belief is essential. Maybe that’s why it works. The act of believing sets thought in motion. Gratitude affixes attention to the good that we have rather than lack. Wallace talks about how thought activates the formless stuff of the universe to create. But can we be grateful when we don’t get what we want? It takes a bit more creativity, but sure.
In Michigan, April unemployment was 6.9%. There are thousands of applicants for every opening. For those of us who don’t have paid employment, it’s not such a good time. People with jobs are making less and working harder than they did last year. A year and a half ago, I applied for a Director of Employer Assisted Housing with a local non-profit organization. When I interviewed, I knew I had the job. It was mine. But then something happened. Politics is what happened. They hired an internal candidate. I cried for days.
Last week, politics happened again. I was silently indignant and insulted as I flashed bright smiles of enthusiasm. I was disappointed for a day but then changed my mind. This time I’m looking at it differently. After a brief rant upon returning home, I refused to discuss it for a day. The next day, I verbally processed the situation and realized that the political demonstration is a blessing. I’m grateful to know now, so I don’t involve myself in unnecessary drama, get hurt feelings and miss out on something better. Besides, being grateful leaves me open to finding ways to exploit the connection for mutual benefit that would not otherwise be possible.
Either way, my immediate need isn’t met. But this way is more fun and puts me in a better state of mind to receive. What disappointment can you rearrange into gratitude?
Science is beginning to study the effects of gratitude. Robery a Emmons, University of California is conducting an experiment called Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude. He says "Gratitude is the “forgotten factor” in happiness research. We are engaged in a long-term research project designed to create and disseminate a large body of novel scientific data on the nature of gratitude, its causes, and its potential consequences for human health and well-being. Scientists are latecomers to the concept of gratitude. Religions and philosophies have long embraced gratitude as an indispensable manifestation of virtue, and an integral component of health, wholeness, and well-being. Through conducting highly focused, cutting-edge studies on the nature of gratitude, its causes, and its consequences, we hope to shed important scientific light on this important concept."
Even business is getting on the gratitude train. Charles D. Kerns, PhD says "Gratitude is not just a "feel good" emotion when it comes to organizational life. It can benefit an organization in many ways. When an employee believes his or her superiors are grateful for his or her work, the employee will benefit by having an improved sense of worth to the organization. This improved sense of worth can lead to performance improvement, thereby benefiting the organization. Further, the person expressing gratitude benefits from that expression, which also may positively impact the organization. For instance, research has shown that persons who are genuinely grateful may be more optimistic, experience improved health, and perhaps even have extended life spans. All of these benefits also potentially benefit the organization for which that person works."
There is a lot of work done on applying gratitude in life. Here's a Zen perspective:
How to Live a Life of Gratitude
The thing is, simple acts of gratitude don’t cost you much (especially once you get over the initial discomfort some people feel with thanking others). But they can make a huge difference.
If you’re interested in living a life of gratitude, here are my suggestions:
Morning gratitude session. Take 2-3 minutes each morning to give thanks, to whoever or whatever you’re grateful for. You don’t have to do anything, other than close your eyes and silently give thanks. This one act can make a huge difference.
Say thank you. When someone does something nice for you, however small, try to remember to say thank you. And really mean it.
Call to say thanks. Sometimes you might think about something nice that someone did for you. Perhaps you remember during your gratitude session. When you do, pick up the phone and call the person, just to say thanks. Let them know what they did that you’re grateful for, and why you appreciate it. Takes a minute or two. If it’s too early to call, make a note to call later. Even better is telling them in person, if you happen to see them or if they’re on your route. Almost as good is a thank-you email — keep it short and sweet.
Give thanks for “negative” things in your life. There’s always two ways to look at something. Many times we think of something as negative — it’s stressful, harmful, sad, unfortunate, difficult. But that same thing can be looked at in a more positive way. Giving thanks for those things is a great way to remind yourself that there is good in just about everything. Problems can be seen as opportunities to grow, to be creative. See the prayer below for more on this.
Learn a gratitude prayer. There are many prayers, religious or not, that can remind you to be grateful. Find one you like, and print it out or make it your desktop wallpaper. Here’s a religious one, and here’s a collection from a multitude of religions. You can find many others on the Internet, or write your own. If you’re not religious, make one that doesn’t include the concept of God."
Gratitude is a state of mind in which belief is essential. Maybe that’s why it works. The act of believing sets thought in motion. Gratitude affixes attention to the good that we have rather than lack. Wallace talks about how thought activates the formless stuff of the universe to create. But can we be grateful when we don’t get what we want? It takes a bit more creativity, but sure.
In Michigan, April unemployment was 6.9%. There are thousands of applicants for every opening. For those of us who don’t have paid employment, it’s not such a good time. People with jobs are making less and working harder than they did last year. A year and a half ago, I applied for a Director of Employer Assisted Housing with a local non-profit organization. When I interviewed, I knew I had the job. It was mine. But then something happened. Politics is what happened. They hired an internal candidate. I cried for days.
Last week, politics happened again. I was silently indignant and insulted as I flashed bright smiles of enthusiasm. I was disappointed for a day but then changed my mind. This time I’m looking at it differently. After a brief rant upon returning home, I refused to discuss it for a day. The next day, I verbally processed the situation and realized that the political demonstration is a blessing. I’m grateful to know now, so I don’t involve myself in unnecessary drama, get hurt feelings and miss out on something better. Besides, being grateful leaves me open to finding ways to exploit the connection for mutual benefit that would not otherwise be possible.
Either way, my immediate need isn’t met. But this way is more fun and puts me in a better state of mind to receive. What disappointment can you rearrange into gratitude?